My One Wild & Precious Life

2012-01-22T18:56:00.002-06:00

We are now 25 days away from our due date!!

The time is going by so fast and I can't believe in a few short days we'll be full term!

I am now on bedrest until Cooper comes. After too many instances of up and down and unreliable blood pressure and lots of headaches and dizziness, Dr O decided to just keep me home til he comes. It came at a good time because I am SO tired all the time now...and insanely swollen!!

Our baby shower was last weekend and we were so incredibly blessed! God has an amazing way of providing and we are so grateful to Him for the many [BIG] ways in which He's provided for us just in the past week.

The apartment is baby ready so now we just wait to see when the big day will be. I have to admit I'm impatient and anxious for sure. I'm ready to meet him!!

45 days ♥

2012-01-03T11:15:00.002-06:00

We are 45 days away from our due date!

Does that even seem possible to you [whomever you are] because it doesn't seem possible to me!?

Well, on one hand it does seem possible because it feels like time has started moving really slowly and on the other hand it feels like just yesterday we found out we were pregnant. Wow!!

I bought my hospital bag this weekend. It's super cute [you know me and bags/purses!] and I'm hoping just big enough to hold what I'll need. I have a list of things to pack for me and one for Cooper. I know that the hospital we're delivering in only holds you 24hrs if you have a normal, healthy delivery so if all goes as planned [which we know doesn't always happen, but are trusting God] I won't need a ton of things. Cooper's stash of clothes is slowly growing and I know with a baby shower coming up we'll probably round out the rest of what we need for him. I'm excited. I feel like having a car seat, pack -n- play, etc will make it even more real. Plus, once our baby shower is here, we'll only have about 2 weeks til full-term and 4 weeks til our due date. I'm so anxious to hold our sweet boy and see his face and kiss him silly. Derek is very very anxious. He says "you've been holding him for 9 months, I'm READY to hold my boy." Melt my heart. He's going to be an amazing daddy and I can't wait for my front row seat of watching him. :-)

I'll just be honest and say I'm so wishy-washy right now. Part of me is so ready to have my body back...er, at least whatever is left of it after pregnancy. :p The other part of me knows I'll miss this belly and his rolls/kicks/punches from inside. Pregnancy is hard and lately it's been kind of rough on my body. My blood pressure has been really wonky and there's no real rhyme or reason to it. Sometimes it spikes up and sometimes it's totally normal. I have a LOT of swelling and that's definitely uncomfortable and now I'm dealing with some pretty rough headaches/dizziness. The fatigue is starting to set back in a little. I feel like I could honestly lie down and sleep at any given moment. I have amazing family and an incredible husband to love and support and encourage me though, so I'm truckin along. :-)

I can't believe we'll be 34 weeks in just a few days! I spend quite a bit of time wondering just when Coop will decide to make his appearance. Will he be early? Late? On time? I'm just so anxious to KNOW his birthday. That may sound weird, but it's exciting to me.

Alright, I'd better figure out what we're having for lunch. Coop & I are hungry! Until next time...

2011-12-29T07:19:00.004-06:00

I can't believe it's been 10 weeks since I posted, and my cousin tells me it's about time I updated this thing because she's sick of reading my 22 week survey. :-P So, here's a rundown of what's been going on since week 22.

♥ Hubby worked a crazy two week stint at the steel mill and was gone every day from about 6-630am to 7-730/8pm. We didn't see much of each other which is a big change from normal, but the extra money was a blessing.

♥ The weekend after he was finished with that we went on a date to the Ft. Worth Zoo. We enjoy the zoo and wanted some time for just us since we hadn't seen much of each other, so that's what we chose. We had a great time. :-)

♥ I ended up with bronchitis around 25 weeks and my OB put me on bedrest for a week. No fun.

♥ Had my first "scare" with higher bp that week too.

♥ Hubby & I celebrated our 1st anniversary

♥ I lost my mind & went to the midnight premiere of Breaking Dawn with mom, dad, my cousin Emily, & her friend Jalie. :-)

♥ We had a wonderful Thanksgiving with family

♥ Hubby celebrated his 28th birthday

♥ Took my 1hr glucose test on his birthday & failed it by 6pts

♥ My cousin Ricci had her baby Jude. He is precious, perfect, and oh-so-cuddly

♥ Derek & I got a nasty, nasty cold that kicked our bottoms for a couple weeks

♥ I took the 3hr glucose test and passed! YAY!! :) In fact, I'm not sure how I even managed to fail the first one by 6pts because on the second one, every single one of my draws showed my levels to be way below the cutoff. Oh well.

♥ We had a 4D sonogram and got to "see" Cooper's face. It was amazing and very emotional and I can't wait to compare him to the sono pics we have once he gets here.

♥ My Aunt Earlene passed away :(

♥ We took childbirth classes and LOVED them :-)

♥ We had a growth sono the next week where we found out that he's measuring a week ahead, still very healthy, and already 4lbs. Good thing he's doing great because my BP was not.

♥ OB put me on bedrest for 12 days while testing for pre-eclampsia. In two days I lost 4lbs simply from resting and having my feet up. My bp regulated, my swelling went down, and I was doing quite a bit better. In order to be diagnosed with pre-e you have to have 300mg or more of protein in a 24hr collection of urine. I had 210mg, so he sent me back to work this week. I'm supposed to go back on the 4th to be checked and see how my body is responding to being back at work, but I've been here just two days and the swelling is back along with purple, cold legs and pain in my fingers and legs so I'm supposed to go after work and get all that checked out. They're wanting to keep a close eye on me.

♥ We had a wonderful Christmas! I was so anxious to get time with family and that's exactly what I got. I couldn't have been happier. Plus, I got to snuggle Jude some and that was definitely awesome. I can't wait for our sweet boy to be here. :-)

This has been pretty long, so I'm going to cut it short here. Hopefully I can remember to keep up with this thing a little more regularly as well as come up with things to post about. :-P

PS...just thought I'd leave a few comparison pictures :-)

[l-r] 15 weeks, 19 weeks, 23 weeks, & 29 weeks

22 weeks ♥

2011-10-14T11:37:00.001-05:00

How far along? 22 weeks today

Total weight gain/loss: Last time I checked +7 lbs

Maternity clothes? ohhhh yes.

Stretch marks? the ones from gaining/losing weight through the years

Sleep: Oh how I love sleep. It's mostly interrupted these days between having a full bladder what seems like every two seconds, and also I completely wake up every.single.time I need to turn over. I still have periods where I'll sleep on my back and I freak when I wake up on my back and then I have to turn. I'm thankful that sleep still comes pretty quickly at night and even through getting up and down several times I still [mostly] feel rested.

Best moment this week: Last night I told Derek he needed to talk to Cooper. I told him since he'd been gone so much Coop would "forget" what daddy sounded like. So I laid down and he leans over and says "move around!" Then he laid his head on my stomach and not a minute later Cooper kicked him in the ear, HARD. I couldn't stop laughing it was so funny! I said, "did you feel that?" and he said, "are you kidding me? He kicked so hard!!" We loved it! I can't wait for more of those times and especially for my family to feel him kick.

Movement: Like crazy!

Food cravings: ice water, hostess crumb donettes, cherry coke, french fries

Gender: ALL boy, Cooper Dale

Labor Signs: not that I'm aware of

Belly Button in or out? still in for now.

Wedding rings on or off? still on and I hope they will be for quite a while. I don't ever take them off.

What I miss: more fulfilling, complete night's rest, and it not being quite so hard to sit up from lying down.

What I am looking forward to: stronger movement, more times where Derek can feel them, seeing my belly move, meeting our boy!

Milestones: I actually SAW Cooper kick me last night. I was lying on the couch waiting for Derek to get home and he was kicking so I pulled up my shirt and pushed right where he had just kicked and he kicked again and I saw it! I couldn't get him to do it again, but it was definitely cool.

BIG Catch-Up Post

2011-10-03T07:59:00.002-05:00

It's officially been TOO long since I posted here. I think it's about time I start though, so I can keep family up-to-date on life, etc. I have a lot to catch up on, so here goes!

Our biggest news would have to be that we're pregnant!!! :-) I am currently 20 weeks & 3 days pregnant with our first sweet baby, a boy, who's name is Cooper Dale. I can't believe we're already halfway there! I've been blessed to have a pretty normal, easy-going pregnancy and I am so very thankful for that. I've had some "morning" sickness but mostly it was all day awful nausea up to about 15 or 16 weeks. I'm feeling much better now! :)

Just a little background:

We found out we were expecting on June 10, 2011. It was confirmed at the OB June 13, 2011. We found out we are having a boy on September 17, 2011 surrounded by family. :-) We had our 20 week anatomy scan September 29 and Cooper is doing wonderfully! He's growing right on track, due date is the same [February 17, 2012] and everything looks great. My hopes are that we make it full-term and he comes on his own. :-)

Other than baby news, we moved at the beginning of September to another complex. It was getting really hard for me to handle the stairs with living on the third floor, so we're now on the first floor with more room, and excited to be in the home we'll bring Cooper to when he's born. :-)

I think that pretty much catches us up on big news for now. :-)

2011-04-11T09:39:00.000-05:00

I am so tired this morning! SO tired.

We had some crazy thunderstorms last night [tornadoes all around, large hail, crazy winds] and Derek and I were both wide awake at 2am.

I'm sleepy now though. I cannot stand waking up in the middle of the night. I feel like my sleep wasn't good enough and I'm grumpy.

Yesterday did not turn out like expected. We got up and got dressed for church, got there and in the middle of Sunday School Derek's tooth started hurting again. When Derek's tooth starts hurting [I think the nerve is exposed] it's not a good thing. It's not just hurt. It's shooting pain through his face and into his head and makes him feel like he's going to pass out. He took some advil and sat for a bit and just wasn't getting relief, so we left and I took him to Nanny & Poppy's house. I gave him some hydrocodone and he rested for a while. He decided he wanted some soup to eat, so I offered to make him some, but he really wanted to run to the store himself and pick something that sounded good to him. He came back and had talked to the pharmacist while there and the pharmacist suggested Orajel - Severe Toothache. It's not like the other Orajels or Anbesol, it's the consistency of toothpaste and actually stays right up there on the tooth and gum area. Within a few minutes he was feeling good as new. Still not good enough for softball practice yesterday, but we did run to the farmer's market and picked up a couple things, then decided to head home. I was extremely worn out and he wanted to do some house cleaning. Freak. It's his OCD. I helped though. He folded laundry [my least favorite] and I vacuumed.

Well, I need some coffee badly so I'm going to grab some and try to wake up. Facebook won't let me log in right now. It says they're doing site maintenance. Oh well. Hope you guys have a great Monday!

Happy Birthday Joanne

2011-03-15T07:19:00.006-05:00

On January 11, Joanne Heim had a massive stroke. Just 9 weeks later, she is a living miracle and celebrating her birthday. :)

In honor of Joanne, I am wearing my charm bracelets:

Joanne's friend has encouraged those of us with charm bracelets to wear them today in honor of Joanne, and every time they jingle, to pray for Joanne. Since Joanne has been in my prayers for a couple months now, it's a done deal. ;-)

I love my bracelets. I've had one for several years now, and the other I just recently started, but I'm planning on just merging them. I counted yesterday and I have 41 charms so far! :-) I'm catching up to Joanne now!

Happy Birthday sweet Joanne! You are a miracle and I look forward to praying for you and following as you continue to recover and reclaim your life. It's been a privilege to see the progress you've made so far, and to pray alongside so many others for your healing.

I'd be remiss if I didn't mention that I can't wear my charm bracelet without thinking of my dear friend, Becca, who passed away three months ago today along with my "nephew" Cole. Becca loved her charm bracelet [it is now proudly worn by her big sister Candis :)] and charms are something Becca, Candis, Katy, & I all love. Becca, I know where you are is beautiful, more beautiful than our human minds can imagine. I can't wait to be there with you and meet our Savior face to face. I love you lil mama & baby boy!

2011-03-03T14:22:00.001-06:00

I'm trying my hand at posting from my phone. If it works well, I just might end up posting more often. :) We'll see...

Last week.....

2011-01-24T11:17:00.000-06:00

I wrote this on Wednesday, 1/19/11 - at least I think that was the date...

I don't even know where to start. The past three days have been so crazy. A rollercoaster of emotions.

I'll try to make a long - SUPER long - story short.

Just consider yourself warned there will probably be TMI in parts of this.

Last Wednesday my dad had diarrhea. No biggie, happens sometimes, didn't think anything of it. Thursday night he threw up after dinner. Ok, maybe this is a stomach bug. Friday night he threw up twice. Saturday he threw up some more - ok, this bug sucks! Saturday night through 6am Sunday morning he threw up nonstop. It was just one trip to the bathroom after the other. Sunday morning mom called and let me know she wouldn't be at church, that daddy had thrown up all night and now he couldn't pee, was shaking really bad, and very weak. She said he couldn't keep anything down, but wouldn't go to the hospital. I said "Mom, when he can't pee it's too late, he needs to go." She said he wouldn't, so I told her to put him on the phone. I told him that I'd give him til I got out of church to pee and if he hadn't we were headed to the ER. After church we had lunch and after lunch I called to check on daddy and see if Mom needed me to get anything for her. I ran to the store and picked up sprite, gatorade, and dog food. When I got to the house Daddy was BAD. I mean, really bad. So bad I dropped to my knees next to him and prayed over him. I honestly thought he'd had a stroke. His mouth was slack, he was shaking uncontrollably and he was mumbling but not making sense. He was SO disoriented. He did get up though bc he said he felt like he had to pee. After not being able to, he agreed to go to the ER. So mom got some stuff together, I helped daddy get ready, and Derek and I drove them to the hospital.

Thank God the ER wasn't busy and they had him back in a room within 10 minutes. They started an iv and took lots of blood. We talked to the doctor and he went ahead and started daddy on some pain meds, fluids, and an antibiotic. He came back a short time later and said he believed that Daddy hadn't peed in two days [yeah I freaked! TWO DAYS?! I thought it'd only been overnight] because he was in renal failure. SERIOUSLY?!?! His kidneys were completely failing and we just thought he'd had a stomach virus. Dad was just shocked. He kept saying "No way, I'm not that sick." And the doctor said, "yes sir. Your vitals look like s**t. He said frankly you look better than what you are, but you are very seriously ill. This isn't something a couple bags of fluid in the ER will fix. I'm admitting you to the ICU today." Dad was like whaaaat!? We didn't understand how throwing up had led so quickly to kidney failure and the ICU. Oh little did we know it was only going to get worse. We got into the ER around 3:30 and into his room in the ICU around 7:30. Once we got into ICU they told us that his blood gases weren't looking good, so they were going to try putting him on the BIPAP machine for a bit and see if they could get his carbon dioxide levels down some. So they put the mask on and he just took it like a trooper. 40 minutes later they came in and said the bipap wasn't doing what they wanted. Instead of his levels improving, they'd worsened. They notified us that the pulminologist wanted Daddy sedated and intubated because he was heading into respiratory failure. Oh.my.freakin.gosh. There is nothing that could've prepared us for that. I mean, they're telling us daddy is breathing on his own, but he could get to where he can't. I've never seen my daddy so scared in my life. He didn't want to be intubated, but they assured him they would get him sedated and comfortable and he wouldn't ever remember it. I promised him I would hold his hand until he fell asleep and that I would be here when he woke up. That was Sunday night.

Today is Tuesday, and it's about 9:55pm. Daddy is still sedated and the ventilator is breathing for him. He has pneumonia [which happened because he aspirated while throwing up - in other words, when he was throwing up so violently it was inhaled into his nose and ended up in his lungs] and he also has gastroenteritis - a very severe infection of the bowels. His kidney failure has completely reversed - PRAISE THE LORD, and his vitals look great. He is maintaining his blood pressure on his own without the aid of medicine - Hallelujah! and now we are just trying to get to a point where his pain level and sedation level are balanced well. We're looking at possibly extubating tomorrow, if everything continues to look good. Daddy's intubation [when they put the tube down his throat and hooked him up to the ventilator] was pretty traumatic [thank God he didn't really experience it] and we were told by the 6-8 people who took part in it that it was one of the hardest they've ever done. Apparently his airways are very small and narrow and he might have some scar tissue from being intubated during his back surgeries. I give you this background info so you know that extubating him is going to be a very careful, but quick process. They have to make sure he can breathe on his own, but also that his body is totally ready to take on that responsibility because when they extubate, they don't want to have to reintubate again at all. It was too traumatic and very hard so they want to make sure he's completely done needing the ventilator. Also they have to get to a happy medium of having him as pain-free as possible with as little sedation as possible because for extubation he has to be awake and alert enough to follow commands as they remove the tube. Please please pray over this. That he feels complete calm, no pain, and that it goes quickly and well. Pray his body handles going back to breathing on its own well and that he won't need anymore help with it.

Dad has woken up twice during all of this. They do frequent suction - which is where they mess with his tubing and make him cough so he coughs up all the junk that's chillin in his lungs. This is very aggravating for daddy and twice it's woken him up. The first time, even though he was restrained, he managed to get ahold of his air tube and almost yank it out. It was the most terrifying thing I've ever experienced. It took three of us to break his grip on the tube and he may be sedated/unconscious but he is still very VERY strong. That was yesterday's episode. It took almost an HOUR for him to get settled back down and asleep. He was fine all night until this morning when they turned the bright lights on to do a chest xray and echocardiogram [ECG.] He started rousing again, but this time his eyes opened wide and he kept trying to sit up. He didn't go for his tube, but he kept biting them, which kept them from working right so his sputum [snot, junk in his lungs, etc] started coming out his mouth like he was throwing up. He looked at me and tears were just pouring down his cheeks and his lip was trembling. It was the single most heartbreaking thing I've ever seen and I felt so helpless. Thankfully they were able to get him some fentanyl, increase his sedation meds, and calm him down much faster this time. I do not EVER want to experience that again. Since this morning, he's been resting peacefully and his vitals have stayed stable.

I can't tell you how many times and how many people have told us we saved his life by bringing him in when we did. I can't tell you how many times I've lost it just thinking about how he could be gone right now. I am so so thankful God spared his life and that we came in when we did. It has been very hard to see him like this. I am a hardcore daddy's girl, through and through. There is nothing in the world like my love for and relationship with my daddy. It is absolutely killing me to see him in this shape and so helpless. My mind knows he's improving and he can't feel the pain, etc but my eyes just see my strong daddy, hooked up to so many tubes, and fighting for his life.

I am so thankful to the many of you who've called, texted, visited, and most importantly prayed for him. Your prayers have been felt, answered, and are so appreciated. Please continue to pray. Pray for complete healing, pray for a quick, easy, as peaceful as possible extubation, pray that there are no long-term effects of this. Continue praying for strength for mom & I as we haven't left the ICU since he got here. It is our choice to stay, but just pray for strength because it's also really hard to see him like this. We are both blessed in that our employers have been so understanding and that is such a blessing. I am so so grateful that I've been able to keep my promise to daddy and stay by his side this whole time.

As of today, 1/24/11...

They extubated on Thursday around 1:45pm and even let me hold his hand while they did so. It was terrifying for Daddy, but he took it like a champ. Thursday was an ok day and Friday was probably the worst because he'd been without pain medicine for a couple days and was just so sore and stiff and hurting. Once they got him back on his normal medicine regimen he was much better.

He was moved from the ICU into a regular room at 11pm last night. Who does that anyways? I'm hoping that while I'm at work today [yes, I miss him terribly] he'll get to go home. If not today, he should be home by Wednesday. He is tube-free other than one IV that they keep just to be on the safe side. He eats on his own, can bathe himself, walk around, use the bathroom by himself, pretty much back to normal aside from being really really weak. Please continue to pray for his full healing and no lasting side effects. Also pray for all of us mentally, physically, and emotionally. This has been a very terrifying time and has taken it's toll on us. I can't sleep well, I have nightmares, and if it's like that for me I can only imagine what it's like for Daddy. Pray for my mom too. She's still with him at the hospital and will have to go back to work as soon as he's home. My little sister will be staying with him after that just while he regains his strength.

The Blog in Which I Admit I DO NOT Want to Be a Popular Blogger...

2010-12-29T15:45:00.001-06:00

This won't be long, but since work is ridiculously slow today, I was going through the blogs I read in my bookmarks and noticed MckMama posted about a live chat she had Monday, I believe, on her upcoming trip to Africa. I decided I'd read through the chat thread and see what kinds of questions were ask & learn more about her trip. Wanna know what I really learned? How horribly rude people are. How people call themselves Christians but judge someone else so harshly and how some people just have no lives at all. Who in their right mind first of all has the time, but second of all takes the time to look up what a random blogger pays on her house, her husband's criminal background, the tax lien against her, and the type of clothes her kids wear and then turns a chat about a missions trip that God has called her to into a tar & feather time? I was appalled at the nastiness spewing from the majority of the people on there. And then I was reminded of how I always complain that no one reads my tiny little blog here or comments much on my posts. Now I know that I'd rather not ever have another person read my posts than to have to go through what she does. I don't care if it made me money, I would not put up with what she does, ever. My heart ached for her because she's just a person. Just a human being who loves Christ and works to better herself and her marriage. Goodness what would a bunch of strangers say if they were to pick apart my sins and shortcomings? Such hatefulness and it made me sad that people are treated like that.

That's all.

2010-12-22T16:21:00.001-06:00

I'm sure most of you have heard by now from Facebook, but if not...I came home from one of the greatest weeks of my life to one of the greatest heartaches of my life. My little sister Rebecca Nicole [no, not biologically] and her 1 month old son Cole unexpectedly left this world to rest in the arms of our sweet Jesus. Wednesday night Becca & Cole were home with her grandfather [who is disabled]. Her mom came home and tried to wake her up, but she wouldn't. She checked the baby and noticed he wasn't breathing either. It was very apparent that there was nothing that could be done for Becca, so she did CPR on Cole. He was rushed to the hospital and pronounced dead shortly after. An investigation is being done, but as of now it looks like natural causes. The medical examiner has ruled out any foul play or homicide. At this point [and this isn't released yet] they believe she had a severe asthma attack. It had to have been extremely quick because it didn't wake her up at all. With the severity of her asthma, she absolutely would've called her mom immediately if something didn't feel right or she was even wheezing. As for Cole, there's nothing concrete as to what happened with him. It's possible he was somehow suffocated when she passed away because they were napping on the bed together. I choose to believe the Lord has His ways and had a reason that CoCo needed to go with his mommy.

I don't even know if I'll be able to express anything here, but right now I feel like typing for a bit. Becca was such a ray of sunshine in my life. Really in the life of anyone she met. Becca lived to take care of others and make everyone happy. In her 15 years she truly and completely lived every day to its fullest. She embraced life and soaked every bit of joy out of every moment she had. She suffered from severe...I mean severe asthma [more severe than anyone I've ever known], scoliosis, a fused L4 & L5, and horrible horrible allergies. She still was a peppy, energetic, enthusiastic cheerleader for pretty much all her life. Everywhere she went she didn't walk, she bounced. Her ponytail always swished back and forth, back and forth. She was always smiling, even through some pretty excruciating pain during her pregnancy [due to her health problems]. She loved. She absolutely loved to the fullest extent possible. Becca was everything to everyone. She lived with her mom, dad, grandfather, and baby Cole. Her grandfather is disabled, he can't really do anything himself, so she took care of him. She fed him, changed his linens, changed his tubes, gave him his medicine. She was everything to him and he was crazy about her. She was her momma and daddy's world too. Their world absolutely revolved around her. Her sister Candis has a 2 yr old little boy, Landon and just had a baby girl Macy last week. Landon was everything to Becca. She adored him, and according to Candis was the only one who could control him. Little Landon is already asking where his Aunt Becca and CoCo are. How do you explain this to a baby? He's been told they're with Jesus now, but still wants to know why. I don't understand, so how could a 2 yr old ever understand something I, at 27 don't even get? However, in all of this confusion, devastation, heartache, and pain, I know that my God is still in control. Becca's family knows this now. We don't know why, but we know she knew Christ as her Savior and that she and Cole are celebrating Jesus' birthday with Him this year.

You know, yesterday at the funeral home Mickie said something to mom that my mom will carry with her forever. She said "How are you?" Mom said, "I'm ok, how are you?" Mickie said, "I'm ok, but I know that you share the same pain I do because I shared Becca with you. You lost a daughter too." It's true, Becca was mine & Katy's little sister, and Momma's third daughter. We adore her. We love her and we miss her so very much.

I've never dealt firsthand with the death of a child, and other than pictures from Baby Loss moms online, I haven't seen a dead child either. Yesterday, I saw my little mama in sweet sleep with her baby boy and it just about broke me into pieces. And because I know many people are asking, yes, Becca & Cole are being buried together, in the same casket. My heart is shattered and seeing that yesterday was probably the single hardest thing I've ever experienced. They looked peaceful though, and so good. Honestly, I had the most peace of this whole ordeal when I was standing there holding her hand. I felt calm. I cried. I sobbed. I begged God to please just wake me up from this nightmare and bring them back, but I also knew in that moment that it would be ok. God is in control, always, and His reasons are not mine, and His will is not mine. I don't even begin to pretend to understand this, and right now I can't even process it honestly. My eyes see that she isn't here anymore, but my heart still isn't processing that it'll be quite some time before I cuddle that sweet baby close again, and before I can tell my sweet girl how much I love her. One day though. Soon and very soon...

Post-It Note Tuesday

2010-12-07T13:03:00.000-06:00

2010-11-17T11:04:00.000-06:00

WE'RE MARRIED!!!!!!!!! :)

I must add something....

I am so SO SO SO SO SO SO SO thankful for all the hard work that was put into making our day special. It was pure magic and couldn't have been better.

I can't lie, I am SO in love <3

2010-11-11T13:17:00.002-06:00

Um....I'm getting married in TWO DAYS!!!!!!!!!!

TWO DAYS!!!!

I just got off the phone with Chelsey who is currently driving through Oklahoma City on her way here. I cannot tell you how excited I am to see her!!!!!! And her little sis Kailey too! :-) I am so.....sososososososososososososososo excited!!

I can't believe it's wedding time. I mean, I have just about 3 hrs of work left today and I won't work again until I'm Mrs. Summers! Seriously that just blows me away!! I'd say I'm excited again, but the word EXCITED doesn't begin to come close to what I feel.

I've been praying over and over again that things would go smoothly for our special day, but every time I pray I end with asking the Lord that He be glorified in everything on Saturday. I'm so excited to be Derek's wife and more than anything, I'm excited for us to begin life as a family, serving the Lord.

Pray for us. Marriage is hard, and we know that it takes three [God, me, Derek] for two [me & Derek] to become one. We will strive with all we are to keep Him first always and I pray we make Him proud.

I'M SO FLIPPIN EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!

2010-11-09T13:39:00.000-06:00

4 days ♥

I am seriously getting married in FOUR DAYS!!!!! Where has the time gone? My last post says there were still 39 days til the wedding.
Chelsey, Kailey, Courtney, Ryan, & Isaac will be here in THREE days!!
We're not dwelling on it, but the guy that was the whole reason we added extra groomsmen & bridesmaids isn't even going to be in the wedding now...and won't even be attending! And instead of calling to tell Derek himself, he had another friend do it. Apparently being asked to be in the wedding wasn't good enough. He should've been asked first & I think he was wanting to be the best man. Too bad it's not his decision who does what in our wedding. What an jerk. I'm sorry, but I'm just beyond upset with him. Anyways, we have a replacement and everything will be fine. I'm just hurt for Derek. Moving on...
We had our last "real" premarital class last night. Wednesday night is our dinner together & the final "lesson" which is titled "Leave & Cleave." I'm so thankful for what this class has taught us, but it's a little bittersweet to know we won't be seeing these people anymore.
I got a taste of what it's like to play mommy to a 2yr old & 6 month old this weekend. I'll say this, I'm tired! But my goddaughter is the single most sweet-spirited, happy, affectionate, precious little baby girl ever. I'd keep her if I could
Oh P.S. The Lady A concert was awesome Friday night!! I've been so busy since I haven't thought about it anymore, but it was fabulous. They are just as good live as they are on the radio/cd! I had NO cell service though

I have tons left to do here at work, so I'm going to finish off with some pics from this weekend.

All ready for church Sunday morning

working on sitting up

Charli & me before the concert

I'm telling you she's an angel. This is a 6AM waiting for her bottle

A new post....

2010-10-05T09:39:00.001-05:00

as requested by my lovely Aunt Tammy. :)

39 days til the wedding.

THIRTY-NINE! I kid you not, I am SO excited!!

I've picked out my shoes and now I just need to pick out and make my bouquet. I know I'm cutting it close [bridals are October 23] and I need to get out to Hobby Lobby pronto.

Our pre-marital class leaders are giving us our completion certificate this coming Sunday so that we can get our marriage license earlier. Originally our class was going to finish the Sunday before the wedding and we'd have to get our license 5 days before the wedding, which is cutting the time frame pretttyyy close. [*you have to wait 72 hrs after getting the license to actually GET married, and have to be married within 30 days of the license being issued*] So this helps greatly! We can officially get our marriage license as of next Wednesday!

I am so so excited to say that my friend Chelsey [and her sweet little sis, Kailey] will be coming in the Thursday before my wedding. They're staying with me, so I'm super excited about that! Also, my dear friend Courtney, [who has been in Germany the past several years -- her hubby was stationed there] her husband Ryan, and their miracle baby Isaac will be coming too! I am SO so excited to see them and share my special day with them. There are really so many extremely special people who will be there and I am honored that they would take the time to make my day even more special.

I'm also excited that we finally have a date for our wedding shower [the church is giving us.] It'll be October 17. Woohoo! :-)

I can't think of much else to update on at this point. :-P Hope you all have a great day!

2010-09-24T11:11:00.002-05:00

Because no one reads this, I don't put a great deal of thought/time into posting regularly or what I'm posting. At this point, today, I'm bored and want to post something, but I don't know what to say. So, I will copy my cousin yet again.

25 Things About Me

I'm short -- 5'2" to be exact.
I've always bitten my nails...until now. Once I got older I always had them done because I couldn't stand how ugly they looked, but I couldn't stop biting them. I took my artificial nails off a couple weeks ago and now my real nails are somewhat grown, I've painted them, and it makes me feel pretty.
I'm getting married in 50 days. FIFTY!
I love coffee.
I long for the day I can feel comfortable in my own skin, at the weight that I am [whenever that is] and just love myself the way I am. For now, I feel fat and I can't stand it, yet I don't want to go all drastic to lose weight either.
I wish I'd finished my nursing degree.
I'm addicted to Kelle & Jennifer's blogs and find myself looking several times a day just for a new post. :P
I wish I could speak...er, type as eloquently as they both do.
I'd like to have more readers. People who actually pay attention to what I say and maybe even comment sometimes.
My favorite TV shows are Bones [by far my #1], Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice, and a few others. I enjoy watching re-runs of Scrubs too.
I love to cook, and feel accomplished when I do so -- but I can't ever decide what to cook.
I have 8 tattoos.
I have 10 piercings.
I am easily annoyed by people who just.don't.listen.
My fiance and I work together :-)
My cousin is getting married tomorrow and it makes me even more excited for my wedding.
We're going on a cruise for our honeymoon!
I love pedicures.
I have a pair of grey lounge capri/gaucho pants and if I could find another pair...or one in several colors...I would seriously wear them every.single.day everywhere I go. They are SO comfortable!
I love being barefoot.
I can't wait to be pregnant & have a child.
My mother-in-law [well soon-to-be] isn't awful. Haha, you always hear the horror stories about how horrible mother-in-laws are, but mine is great.
I'm sleepy.
I hate running.
I wish my puppy lived with me. She's a great companion to my grandmother though, so I know she's in a good place. I miss her so badly though.

List

2010-09-15T11:11:00.000-05:00

stolen from Ricci at the Humphrey Happenings

listening: to the hum of the machines in the shop

eating: a sandwich & sun chips [as soon as I run to Aldi for more chips]

drinking: nothing right this moment

wearing: Las Vegas t-shirt & jeans.

feeling: excited.

thankful: that God blessed Derek & with good jobs that provide and especially for the extra paycheck this month [5 weeks] that allows us to get ahead on bills :)

weather: semi-warm, beautifully sunny

watching: letters pop up on the screen as I type ;-)

wanting: my wedding day to be here

needing: to make cards showing where we're registered to go in the invites & then mail said invitations.

thinking: about the aforementioned labels, wedding day, bridal pics, being his wife <3

enjoying: our premarital class, even though we've only been one week

wondering: when we'll have a baby

Hallelujah!

2010-09-10T10:52:00.000-05:00

My dad's CT scan was Tuesday afternoon. The tech came out and said "wow, he has quite a supporting cast!" [my mom, sister, and I went along] :-)

When the scan was finished, my dad said the tech told him "ok, we'll get this over to your doctor so he can take a look at this nodule." ????? Huh???? Nodule?

Commence googling. Nodules can obviously be tumors - cancer, or inflammation or infection. So we pray, and we wait....and pray some more. I was terrified. I tried so hard not to be, but honestly waiting is so hard and this is my daddy.

He received a call from the doctor yesterday -- "We received your ct scan and there is NO evidence of lung disease." HALLELUJAH!!!!! I cannot tell you how relieved I am. I was shaking and bawling and just praising Jesus over and over and over. I am so, so grateful that God saw fit to keep my daddy here and healthy.

Anyways, short update, just wanted to post for any random readers that my dad is going to be just fine :-)

2010-09-07T10:46:00.000-05:00

How do you describe a weekend that was good, but bad?

My mom broke the news to me Saturday that the doctor's office called and my dad's chest xray [done as part of his physical a couple weeks ago] showed a "shadow" on it. They dug through their files and pulled out his most recent chest xray before that and the "shadow" wasn't there. So, he goes this afternoon for a cat scan to see just what this elusive shadow is. I won't lie, I'm scared. With cancer floating around everywhere.I.look. I'm scared. I'm praying however, and holding tight to God's hand and just begging Him to make this nothing. To make it an air pocket, or xray machine glitch, or something not serious at all. I'm human though, so I've been extremely emotional.

Yesterday morning, we found out my great-grandmother [affectionately referred to as Mamaw] passed away Sunday night. She was in her 90s, knew the Lord, and had been in ailing health, but it was still kind of out of nowhere.

I'm not feeling well...I have a never-ending headache, and I'm sure it's probably just stress.

Please pray for my daddy. I'm a hardcore daddy's girl, and I don't want anything to happen to him.

Aside from the tears & bad news of this weekend, I had an amazing time with my family. We spent lots of time together just enjoying each other's company. Saturday us girls (Mom, Nanny, Katy, & I) went to pick up my wedding dress & have it pinned for alterations, then we picked up the supplies we'd need for our Wilton cake decorating class, and did some shopping. The guys (Poppy, Derek, & Ryan) went and bought Derek's suit for the wedding. Afterwards we all had dinner at mom & dad's. Sunday after church we had lunch together, went and bought Ryan's suit for the wedding, and then vegged out for the rest of the day at Nanny & Poppy's. I've had a pretty awful headache all weekend, so yesterday Derek and I watched Bones all.day.long. I took a nap, Derek made me dinner, then us girls (Mom, Nanny, Katy & I) had our first Wilton class last night. Overall, I'm so very thankful for the time we had together this weekend. Amidst the sadness and fear, we had love & cherished memories. During the times when you lose a loved one and you're grieving, it only helps to hold tight to the loved ones you still have with you.

A little change of pace....

2010-09-03T13:58:00.000-05:00

I'm going to veer off the subject of my upcoming wedding for a bit, and just post what I'm feeling today. I'm not a really witty, eloquent writer anyways, so what you see [or read] is what you get.

My heart hurts. It is closely woven with the hearts of three other women, whom I call my "soul sisters," Kari, Chelsey, & Annelee. They're my very best friends, but they're all so far away. Chelsey is closest to me, and she's in Kansas [read: 526 miles]. Kari is next closest in Idaho [which is 1,648 miles or 1 day & 7 hours straight drive]. Btw, I started bawling when that number popped up. That is so.far.away. Lastly, but never least, Annelee is in Washington state, which is 1,912 miles away. Call me weak, mushy, sappy, or dumb but it physically hurts my heart that they are so far away from me. Most days it's something I just deal with because, well it's reality and there's not much we can do about it.

Today though, today is different. Kari is 19 weeks pregnant with her second precious miracle, who has a knack for scaring his/her mommy...and in turn, those who love her. He/She doesn't really like to move very much and Kari also had a problem with her placenta that caused bleeding, but is thankfully healed. Either way, this has been a hard pregnancy on her because she just wants to hold this sweet, healthy baby in her arms and not worry anymore.

A lump came up on Annelee's neck a couple months ago...actually, I believe it was literally right after our trip up there in May. I could be wrong though. After a biopsy and lots of testing, the nasty, disgusting "c" word has not been ruled out but either way surgery is most likely going to happen. It needs to be removed. As if that weren't enough, her insurance considers this "pre-existing" [because the insurance just went into effect] and they're saying they won't cover anything having to do with this -- which also means the surgery.

Chelsey wants a baby, badly. She and her husband Bryan [whom I affectionately refer to as the Jolly Green Giant] have started the process to adopt a baby and really, I just want them to be parents and hold a sweet child in their arms. One that won't be picked up at the end of the day. One that is theirs. I want them to be a mommy and daddy.

So, the tears are plenty today. I'm so far away, and I feel so helpless. There is a sense of peace though, because my soul sisters are also sisters in Christ. We share the same powerful, all-knowing, healing, merciful God, and I know He hears our prayers. I know He knows our deepest fears and how badly we all want answers to these different things going on. It is to Him I go -- I beg, and I weep for my friends. I pray even now that He will heal, bless, and pour his grace over my sweet friends. He's the one who gave them to me in the first place, so I'm placing them in His arms now, and trusting He will take care of them in the way that only He can.

I really need a new look...

2010-08-26T09:57:00.000-05:00

I was just noticing that my background and the font colors of my links don't even match. Oh man. I really need to get with it and find a cute new look for this page. I'm pretty sure if I do, I'll be excited & want to blog here more. :)

79 days ♥

Wow. I can't believe we're already under 80 days til Wedding Day! We are so excited! We talk about it every day and the most exciting thing that's happening soon is we start our premarital "Countdown" class!!! We filled out the welcome paperwork last night & are working on asking all of the people we've chosen as "Marriage Investors" if they'll take part. FYI -- a marriage investor is someone who commits to praying us through the 8 weeks of Countdown classes, and encourages us during our engagment [and marriage.] Um yes, I just added the last part. Only because I know the people we've asked will do so. :) We're seriously psyched for this class. We want to learn how best to follow the Lord together and how to keep our marriage strong. Even though I've been married before, that definitely doesn't mean that I have the whole marriage thing perfected. In fact, I probably know less than I did going into my first marriage -- if that makes sense. I just have such a desire to see this through this time. Obviously there were things in my previous marriage that absolutely were not compatible with staying married, but everything is so different this time. I'm sad that I didn't make better decisions last time, but am so thankful for God's grace and second chances. I know that I am willing to do whatever it takes to make this work. We both are. We're in this for the long haul. I may not be the wisest person, but I feel like I've learned quite a bit in the past few years and I know that it takes a ton of selflessness and no selfishness to make a marriage work. And a whole lotta God. Quite a bit of falling on our faces and begging Him to guide us. I'm so ready. I'm ready to put our hearts and our marriage in His hands & watch what He does with our lives.

In less deep, serious topics -- we're coming right along with wedding prep! My dress is ordered & should be in by the end of September, invites are ordered & have shipped -- so they should be here any day now, we have an appointment at lunch today to go submit our passport applications, our cakes are ordered and paid for, and I've pretty much decided on all the ceremony music. We still need to:

-decide on flowers
-order/buy suits/tuxes for Derek & Ryan
-choose/decide decorations for church & reception hall
-do bridal photos [October]
-decide on & buy my shoes
-address & mail invites
-figure out what we want to do for our wedding night [probably just a hotel that night since we'll be back at work Monday]

So, we're on a roll and I couldn't be more excited.

I really want to try and keep up with this more, even though no one really reads it. It's kind of therapeutic for me. :)

Happy Thursday peeps!

92 days!!

2010-08-13T13:36:00.001-05:00

3 months from today I will marry the love of my life. The man I'll spend forever with. My soulmate, my best friend, the father of my [future] children, and the man I'll grow old with. I absolutely can.not.wait. I would so do this tomorrow, in a heartbeat. Ahhh, isn't love grand? Even on my worst days, I want to be at my worst with him. On my happiest days, I want him right by my side. This is the man God intended for me. He came along, picked up the pieces of my broken heart and broken life and pieced them all back together. Thank you so much Lord.

Tomorrow we're having engagement pictures done and I can't wait! I'm so excited to have some good pictures of the two of us done. Eeeekkkkk!

Derek bought me a dress last week to wear for them, and I bought him a shirt and they go well together. He'll wear his jeans and cowboy boots, I'm wearing my dress and Katy's cowboy boots for some of them, then probably doing a wardrobe change to a cute top, jeans, and boots for the others. We're taking pics at a park near Nanny & Poppy's house and also at a coffee shop downtown. Yay!

I got my ring back last night! It is so nice to have it back on. Feels perfect and I don't ever want to take it off again! I am one happy, happy girl

Have a wonderful weekend!

My last month....

2010-07-22T13:53:00.000-05:00

has been spent...

getting engaged ♥

bowling in a league with friends from church :)

having my sweet sister-friend in town from Alabama :)

getting a couple new tattoos I've wanted for a while

spending time with my soon-to-be husband

How's your summer going? :P

2010-07-01T15:02:00.001-05:00

Thrilled it's Thursday

After tomorrow we have three days off!

We're doing a timeshare presentation Saturday morning, and in return for sitting through it, we get a 4 day cruise! I know for a fact this is legit because I've done the same thing through this same company, I was just dumb and didn't schedule the cruise within the correct timeframe. As long as you schedule within 180 days, it's yours and we're excited!!

Derek says "I'd like to use it for our honeymoon." Um, sweetie is there something you'd like to ask me?" Lol.

Speaking of my sweetheart, he passed on a lovely cold to me. It's no bueno. I hate coughing and today I'm losing my voice. Cough drops are my friend.

We had a wonderful time last night visiting with Dustin, Charli, Jake, & Jessa. The pictures say it all:

[[disclaimer: not sure why all of these pictures are dated 1.6.07]]

she's such a happy baby

I love seeing him w/babies

checkin each other out

This kid is a total picture ham!

love her

Have a wonderful Thursday friends!

2010-06-29T15:14:00.000-05:00

Fabulous Weekend

♥ Our goddaughter Jessa is home!

♥ We had a wonderful weekend away, absolutely amazing

♥ I didn't flip at all going down the Guadalupe! Yay me!

♥ That's saying alot since it was my first time, I had no idea what to expect, and everyone but Derek and I flipped at least once

♥ I'm tan -- woohoo!! I've been wanting some color bc I was a ghost & now I'm my normal tan self

♥ I don't have any pictures right now, bc the only pics I took were with a cheapy, disposable, waterproof camera, so I'll have to have them developed and put on a cd for me.

♥ The only pic I do have is the one that's my profile pic -- I bought it online from a guy who takes pictures on the river as people float by

♥ I am so thankful God kept me healthy this weekend -- I had no asthma problems at all!

♥ We had an amazing time at Schlitterbahn & camping/tubing -- it was a wonderful vacation

2010-06-15T14:16:00.000-05:00

I was in bad shape Sunday night. I've been having some trouble with my asthma the past week or so and Sunday was the worst. Honestly the worst it's ever been. I worked through it with some pain medicine and my inhaler, but it.was.rough. I was scared and fighting for air. I know most people would say that sounds stupid and I should've just been in the ER, but I'd rather stay away from any unnecessary bills if I can. I had every intention of going to the hospital if I couldn't get things under control, but after about three or four doses of my inhaler and just trying to sleep in between them (I can only have it every 4 hours) I finally got some relief....after 9am. I won't lie, I was scared. I just kept in constant communication with God and tried to stay calm.

I stayed home from work yesterday. It was more than I could handle getting out of the house with it so hot. So I stayed home. I knew my body needed that rest. I forced myself to work today, but mom says it's not cool to put off going to the doctor until my insurance kicks in on the 27th, so...

I'm going to the doctor today at 3:30. It's money out of pocket I don't have (they're letting me pay it out) and more money off this paycheck (bc I missed yesterday & I'm leaving early) but hopefully I'll find some sort of relief. I'm miserable and tired of not being able to breathe. I took a shower this morning and literally was late to work because it took me so long to get dressed. This is stupid. I hate asthma. Please pray that everything goes well at the doctor and they get me better soon. We're leaving next week for Schlitterbahn/Guadalupe and I want to feel better! I'm seeing a nurse practitioner today bc, get this...my doctor didn't have an opening until JULY 20. How crazy is that?!

2010-05-13T10:21:00.000-05:00

Such a happy Thursday! :-)

Started the day with emails back and forth between me & two of my bestest friends, Chelsey & Katy (Berney, not my little sis -- although my little sis is the BEST friend). :-) I just love emails. They brighten my day. I seriously get so excited when another bold line pops up telling me there's a NEW email. :-)

It's hard for me not to be in a happy, giddy, smiley mood lately as I'm leaving in just two weeks to spend four glorious days with my girlfriends in Idaho & Washington. I cannot tell you how much my heart needs this trip with my girls. Living so far away from them is hard! I'll be flying into Idaho to stay with my bestie Kari, then we'll be driving the next day to Washington (state) to stay a couple days at my bestie Annelee's house, where my other bestie Chelsey will be! Oh how I've missed her sweet face, awesome laugh, and big hugs! I can't believe it's been a year since I've seen her! We are going to have the greatest time!! Plus, I'll be doing a mini-photoshoot with Kari for Derek. Kari's photography is magic & I can't wait to be one of her subjects!

I've been anticipating this trip SO much that every day I think of something new I "need" for it. I need a new swimsuit for summer anyways, but Kelle has me hooked on Popina and I'm quite sure I'll be buying one of their lovely little suits any day now so I'll have it for the trip. LOVE THEM! :-)

Work calls, so I must go. Cherish each day lovies, you're not guaranteed tomorrow, but even if it's given to you, don't you want to say "man yesterday was awesome!"?? :-D

2010-05-10T14:19:00.001-05:00

Happy Monday!

I won't really say TGIM though. I'm so sleepy this morning. It was a busy, busy weekend. Saturday I woke up and went to the Mother/Daughter banquet at church. We had such a great time, and a really good turnout. After, I went home & spent some time with Derek just sitting outside enjoying the sunshine. I had dinner that night with my family at Joe's Crab Shack, and Derek went fishing with his best friend, Adam. They don't get to spend much time together, so even though Poppy was taking the whole family out, I encouraged Derek to go ahead and go fishing. After eating, us girls (Mom, Nanny, Aunt Tammy, Katy, & I) all went shopping for a bit. Katy & I went to Claire's and Bath & Body Works while the others went to SteinMart. Lots of good sales & lots of fun and laughs. I had a great time.

Yesterday was Mothers Day and after church we had lunch at Nanny & Poppy's then Mom, Dad, Derek, Bradley, and I headed to Grandma's house to visit. I was so, so excited because that meant time with Lucy! I've missed her so much. I think about her every day and often cry because I missed her so badly. I even dream of her..how weird is that? Anyways, I was very very happy to see her and I'm pretty sure the feeling was mutual:

She followed me everywhere. I truly believe she remembers who I am. ;-)

She was so excited to see Derek too! They wrestled :-)

She kept sitting at the door, and she would run outside to the car. It broke my heart bc I honestly think she would've been pleased as punch to go home with me. Don't kid yourself, I would've been over the moon to take her home with me. She's happy with Grandma though, they take care of each other so it's a good setup. I miss her though. I bawled like a baby when we left. No one made fun of me, they all understood why I miss her so much. She's the only child I've ever had. She's mine. Even my daddy kept saying "you're as rotten as your mom."

My pretty girl

After leaving Grandma & Lucy (::tear::) we headed home & had dinner with Mom, Dad, & Bradley. Bradley's home from college now, so it's nice to have him with us for the normal things.

One last thing...Congratulations are in order to my dear, sweet friend Courtney & her husband Ryan! How awesome to have your first baby, that you've prayed and prayed for, for over 8 years on Mothers Day. God is so good!

Have a wonderful Monday!

2010-05-07T10:30:00.000-05:00

TGIF ♥ Things I Love

♥ My mom :)

♥ The fact that my mom has a day all her own for us to celebrate her! Woot for Mother's Day!

♥ Derek

♥ bananas

♥ good hair days

♥ losing weight

♥ feeling pretty

♥ a good sale @ one of my favorite stores

♥ making memories w/loved ones

♥ a good workout

♥ sitting outside on a pretty day soaking up the sun

♥ fishing w/derek

♥ my puppy Lucy -- i miss her SO much

♥ the fact that three weeks from tomorrow I'll be on a plane for some quality time with my best girlfriends :)

♥ SlimFast Rich Chocolate Royale Shakes

♥ family

♥ cooking out on the grill - yum!

2010-04-12T15:53:00.000-05:00

Life is...

SO amazing right now. I am so happy. Completely content. My heart is full of joy. God has been so good to me in the last year. He's healed me, and blessed my life by strengthening some incredible friendships, and other relationships.

FORTY SEVEN DAYS til I leave for Idaho. I cannot wait. Seriously I am so ready for this trip!

That means only forty-five days until mine and Derek's first anniversary! I can't believe it's already been a year, but I can. I mean, it feels like it's always been this way. :)

I'm excited that my friend Katy, who lives in Alabama will be coming to stay with us for a week in July! Katy is Derek's little brother Brandon's ex-girlfriend. Brandon is 19, Katy will be 18 in a few weeks. They are still really close and care alot about each other, they're just not technically together right now because at their age, it's really hard to be in Texas and Alabama and try to keep a relationship going. She's graduating next month (and he's surprising her by flying out for it ) and has alot of college stuff to figure out, so they're just taking it easy right now. We're excited for her visit though. She'll be here a whole week this time and we have lots of fun planned. The boys (Derek and his brothers) are getting a "brother" tattoo, and Katy and I will be getting one too, that we've already picked out. It'll be fun to have her here. I think it'd be really neat if she and Brandon do end up married because we'll be sisters-in-law. She's such a sweet girl!

I'm getting more serious about this weight thing. I know I keep talking about it, and I've made a change in some of my eating habits, but I need some exercise and movement to help with it. So, I remembered a video (VHS) Nanny had a few years ago that I loved doing. It's called Walk the Walk. It's by Leslie Sansone and in one video there are two workouts. One is a one mile walk, the other is two miles. Long story short it's a very easy, fun workout. In roughly 30 minutes you've walked a mile, and she puts it to hymns. It's really cool and easy to do, so I'm planning on probably starting out with the mile walk every morning for a week, then I'll move up to 2 miles every morning for a week, then I'll move to the other dvd I bought from her. It's called Walk Away Your Waistline. I'm hoping that by getting moving, I'll see some weight and inch loss.

I need to get some work done, and my boss needs on the computer to do payroll, so I'd better head out. Have a great day!

2010-04-07T14:40:00.000-05:00

Happy Wednesday!

I am so happy. Happier than I've ever been. My life is so greatly blessed, and my greatest blessing? The love of a good man. Derek is so incredible. I cannot wait to be his wife. I'm ready. Some people may say it's too soon, but I know this is who I was meant to be with for the rest of my life. No matter how long that is (the rest of my life) I could marry him today and have no second thoughts. No doubts. I love this man, and would do anything for him. Oh I can't wait for the day I can post that I'm engaged.

My trip to Idaho/Washington is only 52 days away!! I'm excited. I'm ready for a trip away from everything. It'll be my first time flying alone, so I'm a bit nervous, but I'll survive.

I need to start taking pictures again. I really do. I don't take enough, and I love having them for memories. I wanted a DSLR camera, but I decided to buy my plane ticket for my trip instead and wait on the camera. I don't necessarily need a DSLR because I don't do photography really, just more like a hobby and like I said, for memories.

Well, I have quite a bit of work to do today, so I'd better get to it.

Giveaway...

2010-03-16T11:57:00.000-05:00

Go HERE and comment for a chance to win one of two Lisa Leonard necklaces. She and Angie Smith got together and created a necklace to honor Angie's daughter Audrey. Lisa's work is beautiful, and this necklace has so much meaning behind it.

Happy Birthday to....

2010-03-10T11:46:00.000-06:00

ME!! :)

As I reflect on the last year, it is apparent that God's hand has been on me the whole time. He has brought me through some of the toughest times in my life, and taught me how to go on. He has provided me with amazing strength and amazing support. God has been so very good to me, and I pray that throughout this next year I will continue to grow in him and sharing his love with those I come in contact with.

Thank you Lord for another year. For making me stronger, wiser, and teaching me to lean on You. Thank you for the many blessings you've bestowed upon my life. I pray that I make you proud in the coming year and that I can show you every day just how grateful I am that You're my Savior.

2010-03-09T08:33:00.000-06:00

My heart is heavy today...

I found out last night that a former boss of mine, Jim Cutts, was killed in a car accident last week. He leaves behind his sweet wife, Karla, 7 yr old daughter Abby, and 3 yr old son Jimmy. My heart is so broken for this family. Jim was a good man. I'm thankful he knew the Lord because we know where he is now, it's just hard to look at pictures of him with his family or pictures of the kids and know they have to grow up without him. Abby will walk down the aisle one day and Jim won't be there to give her away. So so sad. :-( Please pray for the Cutts family. They definitely need strength and peace during this time.

In honor of Jim and being grateful for each day we're given, I think I'll list things I am thankful for today:

♥ my health

♥ my salvation

♥ my friends

♥ another year -- in about 29ish hours I will celebrate my 27th birthday. It is a blessing from God that I've made it another year and come out of my hard times stronger than ever before.

♥ Derek .. some might tune me out now, but I have to say I am so very thankful for a man who respects me, loves me, cherishes me, and takes care of me. He doesn't wake up one morning without telling me I'm beautiful and how much he loves me. He loves the Lord and is learning more and more about what it means to be faithful in church and has even volunteered to help in VBS this year. What a huge turnaround he's made in his life & personal relationship with Christ this past year. I am so thankful for him, his love, and his dedication.

♥ Music - music is such a passion for me. Doesn't matter what genre it is, there are songs that touch me. This morning as I thought about Karla and her precious kids "Your Grace Is Enough" came on the radio. Wow. See, even then God was reminding me that His grace is enough for Karla, Abby, and Jimmy. His grace is sufficient for their every need and mine too. They will be ok.

♥ my car (it's gone through alot this past year, but I am SO thankful God has seen fit to meet each of my car's needs and she's still running like a champ)

♥ My Nanny & Poppy - they will be 67 & 71 [respectively] this year and I am so grateful they're still here. I can't imagine my life without their love, support, and guidance. They are amazing and I am truly blessed to have them.

♥ My mom & dad - they love me. They truly love me more than probably most parents love their children. I've run, I've fallen, I've failed, and they still scoop me up in their loving arms and have patience while I heal. I love those two so.very.much.

♥ Katy & Bradley [and Ryan too ;-)] - those two are incredible. They've supported me and loved me and taken care of me through the toughest time of my life. They encourage me, and keep me in check. I couldn't have asked for a more amazing sister, brother, and brother-in-law.

♥ My "inlaws" - I call them this because it's easier, but also because I already love them as the family I'll be part of one day. Well, I'd be in trouble if I said "one day" because they already consider me family. Kathy (mom), Grandma , Josh, and Brandon. They've welcomed me into their family with loving arms and are always there for me. I'm so blessed ot have such an incredible second family. :-)

So, what are you thankful for ?

2010-03-05T08:46:00.000-06:00

TGIF ♥

Isn't my new header beautiful? :) My cousin Ricci made it for me for my birthday, which is Wednesday! I looooove it! So thoughtful, and so me!

I am beyond excited. I haven't ever really taken a big trip by myself. The closest I've come was New York with choir in high school. So..11, almost 12 years ago. Well, come the end of May I'll be leeeeeavinnn on a jetplane...to Idaho!! :) I'll be flying into Boise and staying with my dear friend Kari and her family. But wait, it only gets better. My friend Chelsey is flying into Seattle the same day and meeting up with our friend Annelee, who only lives about 4-5 hours from Kari. So...I'll be riding with Kari to Annelee's house and the four of us will be tearing up Washington!! :)

This trip is so God-ordained. I can't even get that across clear enough. God's hand has been all over this. First I was invited, then I found a round-trip ticket for $311 (insanely cheap), then my mom says "we'll get that for you for your birthday." Whaaatttt?? So not only did I find an affordable ticket, but now it's taken care of? God is good! I've been trying to arrange this trip for about 4-5 years now. In fact, when I told my boss I'd need off his exact words were "weren't you going to take this trip last year?" ;) So, God really orchestrated this to work out perfectly.

Well, I'd better get some work done. Thank you again Ricci for my beautiful header!

♥ Jenny

2010-03-04T15:02:00.000-06:00

Happy Thursday!

♥ I started my own version of WW last week -- just keeping track of points

♥ Didn't adhere so well last week, resolved to do better this week

♥ Messed up Monday when I thought I was getting a kidney stone -- went over on points

♥ Did pretty good Tuesday

♥ Messed up yesterday by eating cereal & lowfat milk that I thought wouldn't be bad but ended up twice the pts I usually use for breakfast! Grr

♥ So now that I know, I stick to Smart Ones english muffin sandwiches or rice cakes & yogurt for breakfast -- or maybe eat the cereal without milk -- eh...

♥ Either way I'm trying hard and putting forth the effort counts

♥ I started taking a Green Tea/Acai berry supplement, but decided I'll wait and am doing the Jillian Michaels Detox & Cleanse first.

♥ Pray with me. I want this weight loss so bad, but I want to do it right & not always be hungry or starving myself

♥ I'm getting my body wave tonight -- I hope it turns out like I want it to

♥ I'm really wanting to be happier with myself. I want to clean my face every night and put makeup on every day -- even if it's only a little

♥ Derek deserves a girlfriend who looks good for him every day (even though he assures me on what I think are my worst days, that I'm more beautiful than ever -- is he blind?) and I deserve to love myself and feel beautiful.

♥ random -- my desk is a mess!! I hate how everyone just comes in & lays whatever on my desk -- grrrr

♥ I should mention I have two desks that kind of close me in and I'm in the front office by the door where everyone passes me, etc -- I work with all men, what else can I expect but for them to just drop stuff there?

♥ Another earthquake last night? Taiwan this time. 6.4 I believe. So sad

♥ I love Jillian Michaels! I know it sounds goofy, but on the side of the detox & cleanse box it says "I will do everything in my power to help you, to inspire you, and to provide you with as much information as I can to help you make positive life changes."

♥ Sounds so silly but I believe her. I look up to her because I think she's beautiful, tough, and I love her attitude!

♥ Ok, I'd better go make breakfast and get started straightening up my des

2010-03-03T09:44:00.001-06:00

I can't believe we're already halfway through the week! I'm feeling better today (all-around, about everything) than I have all week.

I went and got my nails done last night. They're much shorter than I usually get them , but I had them cut the white off and just do pink. I told the guy I was trying to help Spring get here faster.

I'm munching on a bowl of Kashi banana nut cereal. It's yummy. Supposedly loaded with flaxseed which is supposedly good for digestion, etc. I'm really trying to do this healthy eating thing. I'm also taking a green tea/acai berry supplement to go with and hopefully I'll start seeing some results. ::crosses fingers::

my sweet and I Sunday afternoon. I l.o.v.e. this man more than anything in the world.

So my birthday is a week from today. Maybe I'll get one of these:

lol that'd be awesome, but I highly doubt it's going to happen for my birthday.

I forgot to mention I have an appointment for tomorrow afternoon to do my hair. I'm getting a body wave. I really really hope it turns out the way I want. I don't want tight curls or ringlets, just nice wave...actually just like Becky's hair is naturally. Yep Becky, I totally love your hair, and it's natural. Lucky you!

I spent a good part of yesterday reading the Livesays' blog -- http://livesayhaiti.blogspot.com -- and I loved it. This family is incredible. They've lived in Haiti for 4 years and were there when the earthquake happened. I just started reading from right before the earthquake til now. I'm amazed. These people are here, in Texas, trying to process what they experienced and the things they saw and yet they're aching to get back home. Home is Haiti. Incredible. I definitely recommend you read. It's beautiful, sad, inspiring, and scary all together. I actually found their blog through Aaron Ivey, who is an incredible Christian artist I met through at camp last summer. He led worship and did an amazing job. He and his wife Jamie have 4 kiddos -- 1 biological son, and 3 adopted children. Amos and Story are actually adopted from Haiti. Story was brought home (Austin, TX) in October I think, but Amos was still in Haiti when the EQ hit. He was given Humanitarian Parole (HP) and got to come home though. Anyways, these are just awesome people and you should definitely read their blog.

Well, I'd better go finish my cereal and get some reading...er, work done.

Love

2010-02-24T14:07:00.000-06:00

Things I love:

♥ pink

♥ laughter

♥ the way babies smell

♥ sunshine

♥ thunderstorms

♥ flip flops

♥ blankets (yes, i just typed "blankets" -- they're heavenly -- especially when made by a sweet friend; there's something incredible about being wrapped in a blanket made of love :-))

♥ hugs

♥ forehead kisses

♥ random trips to the movies

♥ veggie straws (amazzzinggg substitute for chips -- try them!)

♥ feeling pretty

♥ Arizona Arnold Palmer Tea/Lemonade

♥ peanut m&ms

♥ the way he looks when he's sleeping -- all the stress of a hard work day melts away and it's just his beautiful face

♥ baby toes

♥ getting mani/pedis :-)

♥ being encouraged by friends when they didn't know i needed it

♥ Anna Maria Horner "Good Folks" fabric

♥ Smart Ones Thai Style Chicken & Rice Noodles

♥ taking pictures -- i wish i knew more about photography

♥ good hair days (today is certainly not one of them :-P)

♥ love - i love love love love -- giving it, receiving it, feeling it

Love Love Love

2010-02-22T10:39:00.000-06:00

We are approaching month 9 of being a couple and I must say, I love this man.

From the tips of my toes to the top of my head. Every single ounce of me loves him. He loves the Lord, works hard every day to better himself, and he loves me. What more could I ask for?

He's taught me so much about patience and loving myself (I have a ways to go on that one, but I'm trying) and what it means to truly love someone with everything you have. We believe the same, desire the same things for our lives, and have the same dreams. Of course we have separate dreams too. ;) I mean, I'm not all-fire ready for a motorcycle or anything. ;)

Derek, I love you. You challenge me every day to be a better me. To be thankful for the blessings in my life, and to try harder than ever to be patient and trust and love. You've taught me that everyone isn't the same and that it is possible to love and be loved in return without being hurt. You've shown me that sometimes when we least expect it, God has something amazing for our lives. I'm so thankful He brought you into mine. I love you more every day and I'm so excited to see what He has in store for us. :)

I said I would...and I kind of am...

2010-02-19T11:17:00.000-06:00

trying to blog here more often. I should just force myself to make it a daily thing, but I blog on my private blog (xanga) and most of what I post there isn't for everyone in the world to read, so then I'd have to write a totally separate post and well, I get busy doing other things. So here I go. I'm trying. :)

Since I posted last (roughly two weeks ago -- go me!) it snowed like crazy here. Here as in Dallas, TX. Seriously like 15 inches!! That's unheard of. Literally. We set a record for most snowfall in DFW in..well, EVER. It was insanely beautiful. Not the nasty, messy stuff -- beautiful, soft, crunchy REAL snow! It started Wednesday night the 10th and we woke up to snow everywhere. Thursday it snowed all.day.long nonstop and just kept piling higher and higher. I was thrilled. Thursday after work we went sledding. It was amazing, look:

beautiful!

getting ready to sled

view of the highway from the top of the hill we were sledding down

Brandon's (my future brother-in-law) huge snowball

this was on my way to work Thursday morning (yes, I realize I shouldn't drive and snap pictures but I HAD to)

We really enjoyed it. Something else I'm really enjoying? This sweet little slice of Heaven:

This is Ethan Zain Martinez. He's the newest of my dear friends Summer & Fabian's beautiful boys. He's so tiny and I'm in loooove. Especially with the way he just curls up into a ball against you. Ahhhh..

Well, I have a ginormous stack of invoices to receive, and even some checks too, so I'd better head out.

Something that's been weighing heavy on my heart lately, and that I want to share with y'all in hopes that you'll join me in prayer is sweet, sweet Daphne. Daphne is my Uncle Robert's mom, better known as Mimi to my cousins Josh & Zach. She had back surgery last month and was doing well, then fell and was rushed to the hospital. They've done extensive tests and she's been diagnosed with cancer. She's been given 2-7 months to live and they're working with her doctors on getting hospice to come soon so she can be at home and kept comfortable. This has come so unexpected, completely out of nowhere, but Daphne is (according to my uncle) at peace with what's going on. I don't understand it. She's not my grandmother, technically she's not even related to me, but I've always felt a special connection. Maybe it's just how amazing of a lady she is and how I've seen her a handful of times in my life but she always shares her love as if you're one of hers and always has a hug. It's hard for me to understand why things like these happen and this has really broken my heart. Please please pray for Daphne's comfort and for strength and peace for her sweet husband Harley and her children, grandchildren, and other family and friends.

I should, but I don't, but I should...

2010-02-03T11:40:00.000-06:00

blog here more often.

I could say I'll try harder to do it, but unless I make it a habit that won't happen. :) No one reads this anyways. :P

What have I been up to? Lots!

My baby brother turned 19 last week (Monday) and the weekend before that was pretty much a celebration of him. ;) Friday night we ate out as a family (Mom, Me, Derek, Brad, Katy, Ryan, Nanny, & Poppy -- daddy wasn't feeling well) at Cheesecake Factory -- yum! Saturday night the same group + Daddy this time had another birthday dinner for Bradley at Katy & Ryan's house. Sunday Bubs went home...well back to school home. :( I miss him so much!

We spent this past weekend at Cedar Creek Lake (the Summers family -- there were 7 of us bc a couple of Josh & Brandon's friends joined us) and I did ALL of the cooking. Don't have a heart attack now, I can cook. :) I was nervous of course, since I haven't ever cooked so much or for so many but hey, I'm almost 27 and it's about time I get better at it. I cooked breakfast each morning (eggs & maple sausage one morning -- breakfast bowls another), we just kind of did our own thing for lunch -- sandwiches, etc -- and then Friday night I made goulash and Saturday nigth we had Sun-dried Tomato Chicken Fettucine Alfredo with mushrooms & spinach. It was gooooodddd and everyone loved it all. I was pleased. :)

Monday Derek & I bought a Jeep! Yep, we did. No kidding..look:

She's a beauty and runs really well. She's a 1995 and in great shape. I bought some Mossy Oak camo seat covers and a steering wheel cover yesterday and they look awesome! She's a standard though, so I'll have some practicing to do. :)

I think that's the biggest news for now. Today I'm feeling just like the weather looks. Blah. It's cold outside, VERY cold -- or at least it feels that way, and I'd rather be in bed than here at work. I'm so so tired, just really worn out feeling, I've been fighting horrible allergies for weeks on end now, and a dumb headache that doesn't want to go away -- for very long.

Hope if you're reading this, it finds you well and blessed. Love <3

Crazy week...

2009-12-04T10:23:00.000-06:00

TGIF <3

I'm SO glad it's Friday. This has been a crazy fast week. Monday was Derek's birthday. Happy Birthday my love. :) Tuesday I was sick and stayed home from work to get some extra, much-needed rest. Wednesday Derek had a tooth extraction done. It was awful. Took almost 2 hours and they accidentally made a hole into his sinus cavity. Painful? Yes. Gross? Yes. He's been in SO much pain. I can't stand seeing him like that and feeling so helpless as to how to make it better. He says having me there helps though, so at least I can do that. Yesterday we both worked, even though he should've been home in bed, and went to sleep a little before 8pm. Today it's work, then a shower and bunko, then home to cuddle with my sweetheart. Life is good. I am blessed.

2009-11-09T15:46:00.001-06:00

Please join me in prayer for Stellan today. He's been in the cath lab where the doctors are going to be doing an ablation (his second) once they've found the right area they want to be in. If you're not familiar with who Stellan is, go meet him here. Such a sweet, sweet baby boy. Pray with me for a miracle.

the best days of your life...

2009-10-08T10:46:00.000-05:00

I had the BEST weekend!! Friday, Derek and I had the day off so we spent it cleaning up around the house, meeting Brandon's (derek's youngest brother) girlfriend, Katy for the first time (she lives in Alabama) and just enjoying each other's company. It was a gorgeous day, so we spent lots of time just sitting outside talking. Katy flew in around noon and I was so excited to meet her. That night we all went to the Duncanville High School choir lasagna dinner, then the Homecoming game. It was great, we won. Woot! :)

Saturday was the best day. We spent most of the day at the Arboretum in Dallas. Derek and I took Brandon, Katy, and Josh (Derek's middle brother.) Derek was the only one of us that had ever been and we really enjoyed it. We took so many pictures. Goofy, fun, silly, serious, etc. We had fun being photographers for the day.

Sunday was church of course, then Monday Katy went back home. We miss her already!

I'm excited for this coming weekend. It's another wedding shower for Katy & Ryan, but this time it's at his parent's lakehouse which just so happens to be on the same lake Derek's family has a cabin on. We'll be there all weekend. Good times!!

2009-10-01T12:37:00.000-05:00

Last night was a long night. Usually I'm with Derek until he falls asleep, then I go home. Last night he couldn't sleep. THREE hours tossing and turning and still nothing. His back was killing him. Poor thing. When he was in the Marines, they climbed a mountain and his guide passed out, so he grabbed the guy's pack in addition to his own and started up the mountain. Well, it was too much for him and he stepped wrong and broke both femoral necks (see picture below if you don't know where that is) and slipped three disks in his back. He was medically discharged and they wanted to do surgery but he said no. I'm glad he didn't b/c I am NOT a back surgery advocate. After watching my dad go through two and come out worse on the other side..I'm totally not for it. I shared my opinion with a co-worker and asked him to get a second opinion from another doctor before going through with his surgery and he didn't. He had the surgery in December and although he's working, he's not the same. He's had so many problems since. Anyways, my poor sweetheart just couldn't get comfortable last night. He was in so much pain.

I'm so excited for this weekend! Derek's little brother Brandon (the one leaving for the Marines in October) is dating a girl who lives in Alabama. They met on a mission trip and are so cute! Anyways, she's coming to visit for the weekend tomorrow and we're hanging out with them all weekend. She flies in tomorrow, and we'll go to Homecoming at Derek & Brandon's alma mater. Saturday we're going to the Arboretum and then I think to dinner that night. Sunday, Derek and I will be watching the Cowboy game at a coworker's house. Fun weekend!!
Next weekend we've got the cabin at the lake because it's the same lake Ryan's (my sister's fiance) parents have a lakehouse on and they're throwing the kids a wedding shower there. It'll be a blast. We love the cabin and being on the lake, fishing, swimming, etc. I'm hoping to get more pics this time. I want to figure out how to safely take my camera with me when I walk to the island so you can see just how neat it is! It'll be another family-type weekend with my 2nd family, b/c it'll be the last real outing we have before Brandon heads off to boot camp on the 26th. Please keep him in your prayers.

Life....

2009-09-21T15:04:00.000-05:00

Life is so sad sometimes. I should've known before now to be grateful for each day and show each of my loved ones just how loved they are every day, but I think as a flawed human I've failed in those things. The last week or so has taught me I need to make it a habit. Not just a habit, but something I put all of myself into. Last Tuesday, one of my best friend's (Chelsey) husbands had cancer surgery. He is 27, and was diagnosed with stage IIIb colorectal cancer. He had a tumor on his rectum that pretty much had all but stopped the natural processes of his body. He went through chemo and radiation, all the while staying strong and working every day. He lived life as if he didn't have poison being fed into him 24 hrs a day. I admire his strength. After chemo/radiation was finished, they had to wait almost two months before they met with the oncologist again to see if any progress had been made. The tumor did shrink, but he had to have surgery to remove the rest. When they had been in surgery for three hours, the surgeon came out to meet with Chelsey and told her that unfortunately there wasn't enough rectum, etc left to reconnect everything and that the one thing we prayed against in all this, was going to become reality. Bryan had to have a colostomy. I know it's not the end of the world, but at 27, you don't want to live with a colostomy. The past week has been rough for Bryan. His blood pressure shot up to 202/130 and he was diagnosed with hypertension. His ng tube made him feel like he was choking most of the time, so they started adivan to help with the panicking. They ended up taking his ng tube out, but when he couldn't stop throwing up Wednesday morning, they put it back in. He ended up pulling it out in his sleep Friday night. They also think he has blockage, which shouldn't be possible b/c with the colostomy, they should've removed all of his colon and they didn't. Today is a new day though. He's walked over 500 ft, and they've taken the ng tube out again. He's smiling for pictures and seems to be in better spirits. His pathology results should be in tomorrow. Please pray the cancer is gone.

I also learned last weekend that a little girl I babysat until I finally got a job, passed away in April from leukemia. She was 13. It breaks my heart to know that that sweet, blue-eyed baby girl isn't here anymore. She'll never fall in love, get married, or be a mommy. Leukemia is nasty. I hate it with every ounce of my being. My boss's son's friend has been fighting it since April. They took him off the ventilator Saturday and he's nearing the end of his fight. He said Saturday that he saw an angel at the foot of his bed, then he saw his daddy. His dad passed away two years ago from a brain tumor. :(

A man I've worked with (he's my contact at one of our customers) for 3 years now was cutting tree limbs and one fell on him instantly knocking him into a coma. He was taken off life support last Sunday and died shortly after.

Life is so fleeting. One minute we're cutting up with our friends, doing housework, playing golf, just living life...the next we're givin the most heartbreaking news of our lives, we begin the fight in the battle of our lives, we die. We're never guaranteed tomorrow and all this death that has surrounded me so closely these past few weeks has just made me appreciate my family, my friends, and my precious boyfriend that much more. Especially watching Chelsey go through this with Bryan...watching Lisa lose Patrick after 34 yrs of marriage...it all just breaks my heart, and makes me hold onto Derek a little tighter. I tell him I love him a few more times every day...ok, a few hundred more times. I soak up his smiles, and sweet words. I hug and kiss momma and daddy goodnight every night and make sure they hear that I love them. Every.little.moment is so precious. How did I let myself get to the point I was taking it for granted?

This && That :)

2009-09-08T15:15:00.000-05:00

Life has been great. Derek, me, Charli, & Dustin took my godson Jake to the Ft. Worth Zoo a couple weekends ago. It was his first trip and he loved it. :)
Derek's brother Brandon turns 19 tomorrow :)
He leaves for the Marines next month :(
I've been having headaches accompanied by dizziness and light-headedness -- no insurance, no checking it out, no fun :(

I'll let the pictures tell the rest...

My godson adores my boyfriend -- I love that :-)

Got my toes done for the first time in months last week -- it was nice :-)

Tatum & Raegan -- my cousins -- i love them!

I LOVE Pumpkin Spice Frappucino

I adore my "nephew" Nestle -- this kid is CRAZY!!

My new Ugly Stick rocks!! :-)

(it's pink & black if you can't tell)

2009-08-26T09:08:00.000-05:00

I'm having a hard time lately. I'm wondering why it is that people are SO judgmental!? Honestly I wish people who call themselves Christians would remind themselves that God forgives every sin. He doesn't look at you and say "oh you got a divorce, you're dispicable and going to hell." Yes, it makes him sad...it makes me sad....but come on, shunning people and refusing to respond to them b/c of it? That's ridiculous. What happened to loving as Christ loves? I realize that divorce is not at all what God plans for our lives, and while I will say that I don't believe God wants us to be unhappy, sometimes that's not a good enough excuse. I'll admit I said it many times, because it's true, but sometimes people need to realize that while they think they know the whole story, they don't. I'm sorry, but it's not the world's business what ended my marriage to my ex-husband. While you may think you know every single thing that happened and can judge and tell me it's unexcusable to divorce him, try reminding yourself that you are not God and you weren't in my situation. Stop acting like I'm going to hell because I made a mistake. I'm not perfect, I didn't ever imagine it would happen to me, but I am covered by the blood of Jesus and my God is a God of grace and forgiveness, thankfully, and I can move on with my life knowing that I'm forgiven for this. I'm not saying we can just do whatever and say "oh well God will forgive me," but when you ask for forgiveness, God gives it. I'm His child. He loves me, and HE, only HE is the judge.

2009-08-20T11:28:00.000-05:00

I bought my iphone Tuesday night!! I love it! :)

I ended up leaving work early and going to CareNow yesterday. My throat's been hurting for three or four days now, but I just thought it was allergies. Well, it got increasingly worse and I developed a nasty cough and severe headache with it, plus yesterday the sore throat was almost unbearable, so I decided to go see a dr. When the girl swabbed my throat for the strep test, she was like "wow! your throat is RED!" I looked down at the swab and it looked like my throat was bleeding. Yuck. Anyways, the strep test was negative, PTL, but they gave me a steroid shot to help with the inflammation and pain, an antibiotic, cough medicine, and magic mouthwash. I'm all set. I fell asleep at Derek's b/c I felt so awful and woke up to find he'd gone and picked up my prescriptions, and brought me Ben & Jerry's Imagine Whirled Peace (omgosh my FAVE!) ice cream, nacho cheese doritos, pepsi, and a pb&j sandwich. He remembered everything I mentioned craving! What a doll! I love that man SO much! He also went to BB&B and bought me a "cool" pillow. We saw them about a month ago when we were shopping around and thought they were so neat.

Cool Luxury Quilted Pillow

This hypoallergenic pillow features Invista's Cool Max® polyester, which is designed to keep moisture away from your body for an exceptionally cool and comfortable night's sleep. The unique fabric allows for air penetration and promotes cool air flow, while wicking away moisture. The quilted cover and medium density down alternative fill adds luxury and support, while the 1 1/2" gusset provides extra loft. 75% cotton/25% Cool Max® polyester, 400 thread count. 100% polyester fiber fill. Sizes: Standard 20" W x 26" L; Queen 20" W x 30" L; King 20" W x 36" L. Machine wash. Made in the U.S.A. of imported materials.

He got me the king sized one too!!!

I'm so excited about this weekend!! Derek got a cabin at Cedar Creek Lake (about 45 mins from here) for the weekend and was going to have a guy's weekend, but most of his friends couldn't go, so now it's going to be a family weekend. His mom, two brothers, and the two of us are going tomorrow after work and then we'll head back early Sunday morning in time for church. Yay!! I can't wait. This'll be the first "trip" I've gotten to take with him and I absolutely adore his family, so I think it'll be a blast.

Well, I'd better go take some medicine b/c my throat hurts and I'm coughing up a lung. Hope you all have an awesome day!!

It's bullet time....

2009-08-17T15:05:00.001-05:00

Awesome weekend
BIG NEWS: My sister and her sweet fiance are now HOMEOWNERS!!!!
It's a gorgeous 4 bedroom/2 bath home that was built in 2007, but has never been lived in, so it's very very nice
I'm SO proud of them :) Please pray as they begin this new journey of not only being homeowners, but paying a mortgage payment as well as all kinds of new bills they're not used to that go with owning a house
Went to an Airhogs game Friday with some close friends I don't see nearly enough of (Kelly - who now lives in Germany where her husband is stationed in the Army & Amy who lives in Waco but is coming home soon)
Saturday was a pretty lazy day -- laundry, cleaning, facebook, and hanging at the new house with Ryan, Katy, Mom, Paul (ryan's friend), and Brad :) Good times!
Church was awesome yesterday! Poppy preached an amazing message. :)
Yesterday afternoon Derek and I babysat my godson Jake while my friend Charli and her husband Dustin (Jake's parents) went to the lake with Charli's dad. It was SO much fun!
Well, I'd better get ready to leave work..only 20 more minutes!
I'm hopefully getting my iphone tonight!!! :) :) :)

Getting to know Me :)

2009-08-10T15:07:00.001-05:00

My name is Jennifer Marie, although most people call me Jenny or Jen. My love Chelsey likes to call me "J" on occasion, too. I have a ton of other nicknames: BooBear, Boo, JenJen, Jennaree, Fred [[Katy calls me that and I call her Barney]], Baby, Princess, and my favorite, Monkey.

I was born on March 10, 1983 to my parents, Rick and Debbie. My dad just turned 50 in May and is medically retired [[after two failed back surgeries]] from the Post Office, where he worked for over 20 years. My mom just turned 48 in February and is a sales representative for a trailer leasing company. I'm so proud of her because she never went to college, but took a position with this company about 7 years ago and has worked her way up from secretary to National Accounts Liasion to sales representative, and by the end of the year a new office will be opened for her where she'll be the branch manager. I am so so proud of her hard work and all she does for our family. We have become much closer now that I'm adult than when I was a teenager. I, however, have always been a daddy's girl. My daddy and I are very close and will talk about pretty much anything.

Our family -- Katy, Daddy, Me, Mom, Bradley, and Eboni

I have one brother and one two sisters. Katy, my very best friend, is 21 and will turn 22 September 15. She's been with her boyfriend Ryan for 7 years on October 13 and they're getting married October 24. I'm the maid of honor. They're also right in the middle of closing on a beautiful home just about 15 minutes away. I'm so proud of them. My brother Bradley is 18 and will be leaving the 21st for college where he's going for his teaching degree. He's already guaranteed a job in our local school district because of a program he was in throughout high school called "Ready Set Teach." This will be his first time [obviously] living away from home and also Katy's first time living away from home. I also have a "fursister" Eboni, who's 6. For the first time in 22 years I'll be the only child at home (besides Eb). Oh how things change.

Brad, Kate, Me, and Eboni

God comes first, always. I believe that He sent His son Jesus to die on a cross for me and that He rose again on the third day and because of my belief in that, and accepting Him into my heart as my Lord and Savior, I will live in Heaven with Him when I die. Nothing can/will take that away from me and I'm so thankful for His unconditional love. I'm human and I fall, but He's always right there to pick me up.

I am currently dating an amazing, incredible man name Derek. We've worked together almost three years now. He's 25 and just...just amazing. I've honestly never in life felt this way about anyone and I've also never been loved, respected, or taken care of like he does me. He's a total blessing to me and I'm excited about what God has in store for us.

More about me? I love monkeys, which is kind of where Derek's nickname for me (Jennymonkey or Jm or Monkey) came from. I love tattoos (which is one reason I find Derek attractive) and I have 3 right now, and already have 2 more planned out, 1 of which I am definitely getting. I also have 10 piercings -- three i each ear, my left tragus, right cartilage, belly button, and nose. I love to read and am a huge fan of the Twilight series. I also love to be at the beach or lake, somewhere with water. I love singing, and do so in the shower, in the car with the radio blaring, and also more seriously at church in the choir and praise team. I love my church. I am a Baptist and proud of it. I love all people of all denominations though, so don't think I'm staunch and snobby. I attend Fundamental Baptist Church where my Poppy (my mom's daddy) has pastored for 30 years. He and my Nanny are incredibly important people in my life...pretty much my second parents.

Since my divorce and living with my parents, I'm not able to have either of my furbabies with me. This breaks my heart bc they're the closest thing to children I have. Randy kept Lola, my sweet kitten who's 10 months old and my baby girl Lucy, my terrier mix, who's 2 is living with my Grandma (dad's mom) and keeping her company so she doesn't have to be alone anymore (my grandpa passed away in 2007.)

I think that pretty much covers who I am and who means the most to me. Any questions? Please feel free to ask.